Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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