No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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