the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
