Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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