My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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