I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
