I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
