Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
