Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
