I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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