Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
