My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
