I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
