South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
