So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
