dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
