Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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