Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
