Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
smell my finger.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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