A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
