so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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