you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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