just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
