we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
