Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize