Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize