I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
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