I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
