At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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