went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
