I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
