somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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