Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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