how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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