i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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