Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
