ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
