Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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