Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do vagina's smell?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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