I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
