My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
