my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize