this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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