and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
