Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
