i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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