mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
