Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize