is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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