apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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