I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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