Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were birth control emojis
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize