All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
