making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
