That's intense
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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