Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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