Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I will be naked everywhere
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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