She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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