Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
