I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
